Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
