I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have fence marks all over my body
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
