My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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