woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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