Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
