well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
