I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
