I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You are a genius and a whore.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
