got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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