matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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