I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
we should paint friendship bongs
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