the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
