How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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