He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
