bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
