We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
that is very illegal...i love you.
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