I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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