i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
