I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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