i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
