At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
