i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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