apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
