saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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