I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
