I'm eating all of the evidence.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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