Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
