Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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