where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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