$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
