Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize