Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
