return my video game
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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