either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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