So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He did a backflip because drugs
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