I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize