I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
