i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Couch. On fire.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
