I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
