break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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