Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
