Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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