All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
