U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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