Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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