please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
