I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
