i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
