turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
