Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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