Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize