A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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