Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
