i don't like sucking hair
Are we in a gay sports bar?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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