i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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