Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
