if i can run in heels then i can drive
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
