The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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