Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
