You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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