Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
