Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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