OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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