You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
