so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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